The Food Court

“There is no sincerer love than the love of (street) food.” – George Bernard Shaw

The atmosphere in the great hall was tense. Masala Papad shifted uncomfortably in her chair to make space for a bunch of nachos, casting a disgusting look at the cheese dripping from them, littering the clean floor. Not far behind was Garlic bread, buried in a deep discussion with bread-butter. Bun maska was eyeing them suspiciously from behind. “ Aren’t you coming? Where are you? It is about to start!”, Sandwich was on a call with his youngest son, the chocolaty one. Pav bhaji entered hand in hand with his best friend Misal Pav. Scanning the entire hall, they settled in a cosy corner adjacent to bun maska. Meanwhile, Ms Pasta had arrived and was checking the sign at the entrance of the hall-“Mumbai Fast Food Union(MFFU): Grievances redressal meet”. She had reached her destination. Pizza called for her, indicating a seat beside him. In a corner, Idli was looking blandly distraught, half-sank in a chair.  Meduwada patted on his shoulder sympathetically.

Adjusting his glasses, Mr Wada Pav spoke in a raised voice to address the crowd gathered “Has everyone arrived?”  ”Yes!”, Samosa entered, trotting all his way from the entrance and hastily took a seat behind Idli. ”So let’s begin with today’s discussion!”, Mr Burger spoke in a bold voice ,”Today, as you all know, the members of the Redressal Committee have called for this meet to discuss the divorce proceedings  of Mr Dosa and Mrs Noodles.” The hall reverberated with commotion as Dosa entered with his estranged wife, Noodles and their son.

” The agenda of today’s meet is to discuss the circumstances under which they wish to terminate their courtship and to decide the custody of their son, master Chinese Dosa”, continued Wada Pav ,“My able colleague, Mr American Burger, will preside this meet with me and hopefully we will come to an amicable conclusion at the end of this session. With this note, lets commence the discussion!”

“Your Honour, I feel that my wife is no longer in love with me. She seems to have reconciled with her ex-husband, Mr Manchurain. I do not wish to drag this marriage any further. I request you to free us from the shackles of marriage forever. ”,Mr Dosa spoke with bleary eyes. Idli shrank further in his chair. He couldn’t see his son so distraught. He knew that the uncouth foreigner was a no-match to his youthful and handsome son. His son had lost all of his flavour through these painful years of his marriage. She had dominated him in each and every way. In a way, Idli was glad that the courtship was about to end. He had always dreamt of having the potato laden Masala as his daughter-in-law. But his son was blinded by love. And today, his grandson was paying for his father’s mistake. He casted a stern look at his grandson, who seemed unperturbed by the recent turbulences in his family. He was too young to understand the implications, after all. Noodles did not show any sign of remorse either. “So, Mrs Noodles,” Mr Burger shifted his focus , “What do you have to say with regard to this?”

“Your Honour, my husband and in-laws have been terrible to me ever since I set my foot on this foreign land! I was never fully accepted by these people. My husband has never tried to understand me. I feel its better if we part ways! And if he thinks I have reconciled with my ex-husband and this is happening because of that, then let him think so! I don’t think I owe him any explanation!”, she blurted out between spurts of sobbing. “Ah! Her usual drama!”, whispered Idli,”the only thing she is actually good at!” Meduwada nodded dismissively.

“It seems like it’s a mutual decision.”, declared Mr Wada Pav, clearing his throat, “Now the only question remains of the custody of master Chinese Dosa.” The crowd shifted its focus towards the kid standing beside his mother. He looked up from his dreamy world and glanced at the two rows of chairs laden in front of him. Sympathetic glances were shot at him from every person present in the room, irrespective of their nationalities and loyalties. He sighed and spoke in a matter of fact tone, “I think I can take care of myself! I don’t need anyone to be my custodian.” The hall reverberated with gasps of shock from the spectators. Mr Bhel eyed the kid with a hint of admiration. But others seemed to think of it as an outrageous comment from a kid who did not seem to know what is right for him. The kid’s parents, however, seemed undisturbed with this , as if this was something they had very much expected. “With whom do you wish to spend your juvenile life with?”, inquired Mr Burger. The kid raised his head and spoke with impressive determination, “I wish to join Mr Bhel’s institute for Street food innovation, if he agrees to take me in.”

“Noooooooo!!!”, shrieked Idli,”Bad things happen to kids who go there! Those unpatriotic people will brainwash my kid! It is not a right place for my grandson!“ Mr Bhel got up from his seat to cast a look at the accuser. He was not used to such agonizing accusations. But he composed himself and spoke with a calm demeanour,” I would like to clarify any doubt you have about the credibility of my institute. We have always focussed on building foreign relations and we open new vistas of networking for our students. Our aim is to experiment with food and build a perfect mixture of what good we can get from all over the world. If you think that is unpatriotic, then I must say my definition of patriotism is slightly different from yours!” The room was filled with sounds of hushed discussions. “Order! Order!”, Mr Wada Pav tried to calm down the masses, “Mr Idli , I am afraid , that’s not your choice. If Master Chinese Dosa has decided something, the committee stands by his decision.”

“But these foreigners, they have always stolen our identity! I don’t want their influence on my grandson!”, cried Idli. “Oh is it?!”, snarled Ms Pasta, “Ever since I have come in this land, I have been treated as some criminal! Sgradito! Wherever I go! We have the right to reside wherever we want. Who are you to judge us! Inaccettabile!! If we are loved for our taste here, why should we not stay? Look at our poor Noodles! She spent her entire life, under the dominance of her husband, being classified as a Dosa, but eventually he left her in her time of need! Such an ingrato person!”

“You filthy foreigners!!”, Mr Pakoda’s crisp voice echoed throughout the hall, “You have been replacing us in each and every sector! Look at Mr Paratha! Instead of hogging parathas, people find time to feast with pizzas or call them inside the comforts of their homes. Same is the case is with me! Once upon a time, I used to have a very busy day during the monsoons. But, look at me now! Here I am, attending this stupid redressal meet, while Mr Fries is busy getting dipped in hot sauces and peri-peri!!” Ms Raita tried to pacify her neighbour, but to no avail. “We deserve some compensation! We need some reservation and recognition! We don’t want to be completely jobless in the coming years! ”

“Look Mr Pakoda!”, Spoke Mr Burger, “I understand your concerns. But this is not the correct way to put forth your arguments----”

“Damn the correct way!”, Idli interrupted the conversation, “I don’t care about others, but I don’t want any injustice being inflicted on my grandson! He will end up losing his identity amongst those foreigners. He will not go to the Institute!! I demand for a public voting to decide what happens to my grandson! Don’t you agree with me, Meduwada?” “Uh hmm?… ye…yee… yesss!”, Meduwada woke up with a start on being poked by Idli. He seemed to have drifted off to a faraway dreamland. Gathering himself around, he commented,” That Noodle is a manipulative vamp!” Confused by the interrogative glances, he shrugged absent-mindedly and sank in his chair.

“I think we are in a better position to choose what needs to be done with the kid, Mr Idli”,Mr Wada Pav spoke with an air of finality in his voice, ”As far as your demands are concerned Mr Pakoda, I feel your accusations are unjustified. People are giving equal opportunities to everyone, if someone outshines others on the basis of his merit, there is nothing much we can do there!” Pasta and Pakoda exchanged spiteful looks.

“I want to say something, Your Honour!”, Chinese Dosa came back into the picture, “I think whatever Ms Pasta just said, its all true! ” Idli fell off his chair in a state of disbelief. Meduwada woke up in time to pull him back. Samosa climbed on his chair to get a clearer view of the kid’s face. “He has definitely been brainwashed by his mother.”, he whispered to the Masala Papad, who nodded in reply. “And I also think ,whatever Pakoda uncle said, was true”, the kid continued. The hall fell silent. All eyes were on the little kid when he continued,” My father’s domain has, no doubt, been encroached by newcomers like my mother , who inturn, have never been treated in a fair way. But that’s not the case with me; I have been receiving the best treatment from both the sides! I don’t feel that I have lost my identity. Infact, I feel , I have created a new one! I don’t care where my origin lies. All I care about is how well the fast food community is being appreciated. That is what I want! A peaceful, accommodating and innovative collaboration! That is why I want to join hands with Mr Bhel in whatever he is trying to achieve. That I must say, is the future of MFFU !!”

The speech received a lot of applause from the crowd. Idli seemed to be lost in the implications of the words. But he did not seem to contradict his grandson. Mr Bhel smiled at the newest entry into his brigade of  fresh minds.

 Mr Dosa glanced at his son and then at his wife. A wave of self-realization passed through his mind and he spoke, “Mr Burger and Mr Wada Pav, I wish to revoke my case for divorce.I want to give this marriage a second chance.” “Ohh that’s great news!”, smiled Mr Burger, “If Mrs Noodles agrees we can close the session for the day!” Mrs Noodles smiled at her husband. Her tangled life seemed to have found a new ray of hope.  She finally felt at home.

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In a corner, Mr Pizza was in a fierce discussion with Mr Paratha,” What do you mean I replaced you? Haven’t you heard Charles Darwin’s theory? The fittest survives!” “We will see who survives in the long run, “Mr Paratha snarled, “with the new range of parathas coming up, I bet you will have to get fitter for survi--” A giant hand barged into the hall and picked Mr Paratha up, interrupting his speech in between. “Oh see, there is pizza too!”, exclaimed the Man.” Here , try this! Have you ever tried Pizza on Paratha? Tastes amazing!! Come on, try it!!”, he commented ,passing  a piece of pizza with paratha to his friend.